The Power of Forgiveness

The Power of Forgiveness

By Mary J. Bryant

I was reading this article by Dr. Randy Kamen Gredinger entitled The Power of Forgiveness. In his articles, he stated that Forgiveness transforms anger and hurt into healing and peace. Forgiveness can help you overcome feelings of depression, anxiety, and rage, as well as personal and relational conflicts.” I agree with this 100%. When I received the revelation from the Holy Spirit concerning my unforgiveness, it totally changed my life.  It did not occur to me that I had unforgiveness in my heart. All I knew was that I was hurting, angry, disappointed, frustrated and depressed.  The weight of these emotional burdens I was carrying around was slowly putting me in bondage. I was being eaten up by this very dark whole. I wanted desperately to escape. Therefore, when I got that revelation about forgiveness, I paid close attention to my Teacher, the Holy Spirit.

He began dealing with me on those moments when hurt came in from those I was close to. He showed me how being rejected and misunderstood started taking a hold on me through offense. Then the Holy Spirit took me to the Scriptures because forgiveness is a very important and deliberate theme in the Bible. The Bible teaches us as Christians to forgive as the Lord has forgiven us: Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Colossians 3:13 NIV). My eyes were opened to the weight and the importance of forgiveness. I knew it was something I was willing to do to be free from this dark place I was in. But how do you forgive those that have hurt you, disappointed you, misunderstood you, rejected you, turned their backs on you, etc. This is an honest question.  I had to reconcile this with two factors: I needed to be free and the Bible instructs me to forgive as I was forgiven.

So my journey to the forgiving process begun by first forgiving by faith, out of obedience because at first I didn’t necessary felt like forgiving. But through my faith in God, I could trust Him to do the work in me that needed to be done so that this process would be complete. I could trust God that He would complete the work of forgiveness in His time. It was my job to forgive by faith and the work of forgiveness in my heart was the Lord’s job to complete. And His word tells me that if He begins a good work in me, He will finish it (Philippians 1:6).

How do we know the work of forgiveness is complete? Well, I knew it was completed when I experience peace from that heavy burden.  When I decided to forgive, I experienced a lifting of that burden. My countenance changed. I no longer walked around with my head hung down. I could sleep at night. I could even be around those persons without any hard feelings or discomfort. Praise God!

The power of forgiveness is a beautiful thing! It gives us the power to be release from bondage. Basically, we are the ones who suffer the most when we choose not to forgive. We are imprisoned but forgiveness allows the Lord to set our hearts free from the hurt, the bitterness, the resentment, the anger, the disappointment or whatever it may be. Now let me make this statement.  Sometimes you may have to forgive continuously because it is not always easy depending on what happened, who caused it and how long ago it happened.  We have to continue to forgive until it is settled in our hearts. In Matthew 18:21:22, Peter asked Jesus how many times should he forgive his brother when he sins against him. Jesus replied, “Up to seven times.” During those times of dealing with a longer forgiveness process, I have found that prayer is the best way to break down that wall of unforgiveness in the heart. Jesus, more than anyone else, understands the brokenness of our human condition. He knows our heart better than we do. Jesus, more than anyone else knows the need for forgiveness. He forgave tax collectors and prostitutes. He forgave Peter for betraying Him. And on the cross, He even forgave those who crucified Him. It was the Son’s role to die for our sins so that we might be forgiven. It was the Father’s role to accept Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf and forgive us. The Holy Spirit’s role is to enable Christians to do those things we cannot do on our own, namely forgiving others. Why? Because God forgave us.

That wound cannot heal if we refuse to forgive. It just festers into bitterness, resentment and depression. It is for our own good and freedom that we forgive that person or persons and trust God to heal our wounded souls so that we can reconcile and or move on. Charles Stanley wrote in his book Landmines in the Path of the Believer: “We are to forgive so that we may enjoy God’s goodness without feeling the weight of anger burning deep within our hearts. Forgiveness does not mean we recant the fact that what happened to us was wrong. Instead, we roll our burdens onto the Lord and allow Him to carry them for us.”

God expects us to show mercy (which means not getting what you really deserve) because He has shown us mercy. Luke 6:36 states “Be merciful just as your Father is merciful.” It is making that conscious decision to not hold a grudge or wait for someone to repay you for hurting you.

The power of forgiveness allows you to give up the suffering of the past and move forward with inner freedom. It relieves you of overall stress. It allows that relationship to be restored. There is hope in forgiveness.

            I have to interject this thought in this article. There are times when we are the cause of our hurts. Let me explain. We may misunderstand or misinterpret something that someone did to you or didn’t do to you. So it is best to let that person know how you are feeling so the matter can be cleared up. Don’t let it just fester because the other person may not know that you were hurt or had no intentions for you be hurt. Also, wouldn’t you want to be forgiven? If you ever prayed the model prayer from Matthew 6:12, it teaches us to pray “and forgive our debts or trespasses as we also have forgiven our debtors or trespassers”.

I leave with this quote by Dr. Randy Kamen Gredinger “Remember that you cannot control others, but you can control your own choices. As you continue to reshape your grievance story -- becoming the hero of that story, developing empathy, and compassion for the abuser and celebrating your strengths -- you will undoubtedly begin to notice a shift in your consciousness. Your feelings of anger and sadness are likely to quiet down and your self-esteem is likely to blossom, as will your relationships.”

Peace and Blessings,

Mary J. Bryant

Servant of the Most High God